February 11th, 2010
Suffering Can Be Meaningful
We live in a culture that disavows the value of emotional pain. In fact, we are often shamed for having the feelings we have unless they are perpetually sunny and apparently, yet deceptively, content. This persistent message of disapproval has its roots in the notion that if we are in pain there is something fundamentally wrong with us, and it’s our fault: we must be broken, flawed, and forever sentenced to various forms of misery. Actually this view is very unrealistic.
A more ancient view, one that remains perpetually fresh, holds that instead of being plagued with this dismal perspective, we can discover our basic goodness, our sanity, our compassion, our true identity. Within this approach, suffering has great value: it is a wake-up call in disguise.
So, consider please that your suffering, your discontent has meaning. Through the cultivation of awareness, through the development of certain living skills that are rooted in gentleness and curiosity, we can gain insight into suffering, discover its origins, and discover the possibility of sustained relief from much of it.
Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy offers the possibility of such relief. At the root of my therapeutic approach lies the conviction that each client has the innate capacity for discovering their own potential for relief from the pain that plagues them. This is not mere positivism. This possibility for transformation bears fruit when therapist and client join together in an alliance of awareness not by simply thinking positive thoughts. By thoroughly exploring the patterns of beliefs, thinking, and behavior that generate suffering, one can likewise find freedom from them.
So it behooves us to pay attention to whatever is happening; paying attention to things as they are, not as they should be. And the quality of the attention we pay is the key to the process. Learning to approach suffering with gentle regard opens the gate to understanding and transformation.
.